Vauxhall Tea Party

Phase 2 · Knowing the self

Week 07

Nafs and Ene

The Words · The Thirtieth Word · First Aim

01

Story

  1. 01The “I” (ene) is meant to be very thin. One fine thread in the thick rope of a person, a single upright stroke (elif), drawn only to measure with.

  2. 02But if no one sees what it is, it grows in the dark, under a soil of concealment (tesettür toprağı).

  3. 03It thickens, and spreads into every part of him. His light goes down.

  4. 04In the end, like a huge dragon (ejderha), it swallows the whole person. He has become, more or less, nothing but “I”.

  5. 05Then the brass coin. A man takes a coin from the public treasury (mîrî malı), and can live with it only by giving every friend there a coin too. “I own myself” has to become “everything owns itself”.

Two pictures from the First Aim of the Thirtieth Word, told as one. The wording is ours, the pictures are Nursi’s.

02

Meaning

The “I” has two faces. Turned beyond itself it is a mirror and a measuring line; turned on itself it swells into a dragon.

Last week the heart was meant to rule the house. Tonight we meet the one who keeps climbing onto the throne instead. Not the nafs with its appetites, the self that wants, but the “I” (ene), the self that claims. Nursi calls it a part of the Trust (emanet) and gives it two faces. Facing beyond itself, it is a ruler drawn to measure God’s Names. Facing itself, it swells, hardens and hides Him. A person can keep a disciplined nafs, gym at six and early nights, and still carry a huge ene. Many high achievers do.

Six things the “I” shows

Two pictures, two faces and one question about the word “mine”. Try each picture with your own hands.

  1. the heavensshrank backthe earthshrank backthe mountainsshrank backa tree of light · tûbâa tree of Hell · zakkumthe human · insantook it onthe Trust · emanet

    A Trust, offered to the heavens, the earth and the mountains. Who will carry it?

    01 / 06

    The “I” is part of the Trust

    The Thirtieth Word opens with the verse of the Trust (emanet, 33:72): offered to the heavens, the earth and the mountains, which shrank back from it in fear, and taken on by the human being. Nursi says the “I” (ene) is one part of that Trust. From Adam until now it has been the seed of two trees: a luminous tree of Paradise (tûbâ) and a dreadful tree of Hell (zakkum). In week 4 belief and unbelief carried those two seeds. Here Nursi finds both in one place: the human “I”.

  2. RahîmHakîmKadîrAlîmMâlikThe doors of the universe — look open, are closedHidden treasures of the Names · künûz-u mahfiyetılsım?the “I” · a riddle, muammâthe “I”, known · a key in trust

    The key to the world is in your hand, attached to your self. The doors look open, and are closed.

    02 / 06

    A key and a riddle

    Nursi calls the “I” a key to the Divine Names (Esmâ-i İlâhiyye), which are hidden treasures (künûz-u mahfiye), and to the locked talisman of creation (tılsım-ı muğlak). The doors of the universe look open and are in fact closed, and the key has been handed to the human being, attached to his own self. But the key is itself a riddle (muammâ). Once a person knows what his “I” is and what it was made for, the riddle opens, and the universe opens with it.

  3. the “I” · eneIts meaningpoints beyond itselfmânâ-yı harfîis in itselfmânâ-yı ismî…Its existencedepends on Anothervücud-u tebeîis of itselfvücud-u zâtî…Its ownershiplent, by His leavemâlikiyyet-i vehmiyyeit owns its lifemâlik-i hakikî…Its realitya shadow of the Realhakikat-ı zılliyea fixed realityhakikat-ı sâbite…Its dutyconscious serviceşuurkârane hizmetperfect itselftekemmül-ü zâtî…

    One “I”, two faces. Which one do you take hold of?

    03 / 06

    Two faces

    The heart of the reading. The “I” has two faces. The face taken up by prophethood (nübüvvet) says: I am a servant (abd). My meaning points beyond me (mânâ-yı harfî). My existence depends on Another (vücud-u tebeî). My ownership is lent, apparent and for a time (mâlikiyyet-i vehmiyye). My reality is a shadow of the Real (hakikat-ı zılliye), and my work is conscious service. The face taken up by self-sufficient philosophy says the opposite: my meaning is in myself (mânâ-yı ismî), I exist of myself, I own my life, and my task is to perfect myself out of love of self (hubb-u zât).

  4. A universe of shining signs · âyâtas weak as airfrozena dark pointfar off

    In itself the “I” is as weak as air. Clear, it hides nothing, and the whole sky shows through.

    04 / 06

    From air to ice

    Almost like a chemist, Nursi describes how the “I” hardens. In itself it is as weak as air. Looked at as owning itself, the vapour condenses into liquid (temeyyü). Familiarity and busyness with material things make it set (tasallüb). Heedlessness and denial freeze that I-ness (enaniyet) solid (tecemmüd). Rebellion clouds it (tekeddür), and it loses its transparency. Then it thickens and swallows its owner, and starts to measure everyone by itself (kıyâs-ı binnefs). Earlier he gives the result in one image: a single dark point in the “I” can hide a universe full of shining signs.

  5. the Maker · Sâni‘“How beautiful it is!”ne güzeldir“How beautifully made!”ne güzel yapılmışan idol · sanemmade · yapılmış

    One tulip, six onlookers. What do they say about it?

    05 / 06

    “How beautiful” or “how beautifully made”

    Nursi gives examples of what each face produces. One is small and devastating. The self-owning “I” says “how beautiful it is” (ne güzeldir) instead of “how beautifully it is made” (ne güzel yapılmış), and that one change turns things into idols (sanem). It applauds a showy beauty that can be sold to anyone, and turns idol-like people into monuments for their admirers. Another example: philosophy cut off from revelation says might is right (kuvvette hak vardır); prophethood says right is might (kuvvet haktadır, hak kuvvette değildir), and that rule stops tyranny.

  6. “Mine” · benimEntrusted · emanetthe “I” · eneskillssuccesstimebodythe flatthe careerlehü’l-mülk ve lehü’l-hamd

    Everything in the “mine” column, and the “I” swollen thick to hold it.

    06 / 06

    Where do you say “mine” most strongly?

    When the “I” does its job, Nursi says, it gives up its imagined lordship (rubûbiyyet-i mevhume) and its supposed ownership, which were only ever units of measurement (vâhid-i kıyâsî), and says: His is the dominion and His is the praise (lehü’l-mülk ve lehü’l-hamd). Then it reaches true worship (ubûdiyyet) and the finest of forms (ahsen-i takvîm). Seen as entrusted, our skills, success and time do not shrink. They are only moved into the right column of the ledger.

03

Read

قَدْ اَفْلَحَ مَنْ زَكّٰيهَا ۝ وَقَدْ خَابَ مَنْ دَسّٰيهَا

“Whoever purifies it has succeeded, and whoever buries it has failed.” (Qur’an 91:9–10) Nursi applies the first half to the “I” known as a trust, the second to the “I” that thinks it owns itself.

Yes: while the “I” is a thin alif, a thread, a supposed line, if its nature is not known it grows under the soil of concealment and gets thicker and thicker. It spreads to every part of a person’s being. Like a huge dragon it swallows him, until the whole person, with all his inner faculties, has more or less become “I”.

A man who steals forty para from the public treasury can only stomach it by agreeing that each of his friends standing there should take a silver dirham. In the same way, the man who says “I own myself” is forced to say, and to believe, “everything owns itself”.

The first face is the face of prophethood, the source of pure worship. The “I” knows itself to be a servant, and understands that it serves Another. Its nature is like a particle’s: it carries the meaning of someone else. Its existence follows: it stands by Another’s being and is held in place by His making. Its ownership is supposed: by its Owner’s leave it owns things in appearance only, and for a time. Its reality is a shadow, a humble, contingent shade carrying the reflection of a true and necessary Reality. And its work is to serve with awareness, as a measure and a scale for the attributes of its Maker.

Bediüzzaman Said Nursi, The Words, the Thirtieth Word, First AimWorking translation from the Turkish, made for this draft. Kırk para, “forty para”, was a small copper coin; a dirham was silver. Check against a published edition before release.Read the Thirtieth Word in English and Turkish

04

Explore

From air to ice

Nursi describes the “I” hardening the way water does. Move through the stages and watch what happens to the person inside it, and to the light from above.

As airIn itself the “I” is as weak as air (hava gibi zaîf). Light from above passes straight through it, and the sky is full of signs.

CondensingLooked at as if it owned itself, the vapour condenses into drops (temeyyü).

SettingAt home with material things and busy with them, it sets into a clear shell (tasallüb). He still shines through it, just.

FreezingHeedlessness and denial freeze it hard (tecemmüd). The light from above stops at its top.

CloudedRebellion clouds it over (tekeddür). Thicker now, it has swallowed its owner, and he gives every person round him a little crown, measuring them all by himself.

Nursi’s last step is the strangest. The frozen “I” makes little Pharaohs of everyone and everything, though they never asked to be, and that is where every kind of şirk begins. The way back runs the same road in reverse, and it starts with one sentence: this is from Him.

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